Inalienable Traits

I do have to say this week has witnessed my transformation into a minor film buff; Paris Je T’aime on Tuesday, The Elephant Man on Friday, Memoirs of a Geisha on Saturday and Silent Hill today. Having watched such a varied genre of films has left the contents within my cranium somewhat fried and I’m certain it largely explains my conversational lethargy. Yesterday, I was frustrating Chloe with my slow comprehension of Memoirs of a Geisha buttressed by a blank facial expression as I glared at the screen, remembering to blink every so often so my eyes wouldn’t turn into dry static cubes.

In hindsight, I have to say watching the Elephant Man is the one I will remember the fondest...the fact it was aired in Somerset House puts it in pole position too! I honestly thought it would be a lot sadder and heart wrenching than it was but it was done with justice and the emotions the makers wanted to convey came through crystal clear. What touched me the most was the irreducibility and purity of the Elephant Man’s sentiments; his love for the theatre, his sincere words, his humbleness as he believed he was a disappointment to a beautiful mother he spoke only of in reverence. It was quite hard not to feel simultaneously sad and happy…it was just a question of balance that tipped one’s state of mind into hope or despair.
At the end of the film as we were walking out, I set Chloe into hysterics as I produced one of my classic sentimental statements that were mistook for pretentiousness, to quote Ms Day. I’d sighed loudly and said, ‘Ohh, perhaps there’s an Elephant Man in all of us’. But I stand by my guns! Our resolve to hold things out, our gratitude to those who help us and of course, our ability to love. Once I manage to get an internet connection running (my days spent lazing around risk pushing the flat into a pre-1990s era) I’ll be sure to add one of Joe Merrick’s quotes, ‘I have lived a full life, because I know am loved’.

And that quote got me thinking. At the opposite end, is a life filled with wanton sexual conquests, absurd luxury and satiation of the 7 sins at some point, necessarily a life that is not full? My former boundary-obsessed moral self would be inclined to uphold this conception without question but having finally started to move with the times, fullness is a very subjective state of mind and I respect that. Yet, I can’t help but think this state of mind is achieved through the endurance of hardship. A hardship that strips a human being to his most rudimentary coat of feelings and instincts. This is the Elephant Man within us.